One overcast summers day in 1990 during the
six weeks holiday, I was in fact bored. So I decided to jump
into my wheelchair, and find adventure. I went to call for
a friend of mine. Mark was his name, ginger hair, glasses
and freckles. We decided to go for a ride together. (nice)
We were going nowhere in particular, then we saw a sign saying,
public footpath. I said, "I haven't seen that before,
have you?" Mark said, "I wonder where it leads to?"
So between us we thought we'd better take a look and investigate.
We decided to go the way the sign pointed, not really knowing
what lay ahead. As we went along we discovered that the path
was not actually a concrete path but mud, mud, and more bloody
mud. At one side the mud made an embankment, which was about
4ft high with weeds growing out of it. The weeds were interspersed
with nettles, which I duly caught my arm on. It didn't hurt
much because I can take it, I'd been through worse before.
Also at the top of this embankment was an old railway line,
but we couldn't get to it as it was too high. At the other
side of the so called path was a wire fence, also interspersed
with weeds. We were trundling along, as you do in a wheelchair.
It was like going through a maze. Twists and turns, ups and
downs, it was like been on a boat at see on a bad day. We
now were beginning to know why it was called the 7 alleys.
I got a little bit stuck because I went into a hole. Mark
said, "what did you go in that hole for? you could have
got stuck." He went mad at me. I said, "shut up
and push me out." He managed to push me out with his
wheelchair. "I think we'd better go back now," Mark
said. "No let's carry on and see where we get to,"
I replied. Of course Mark was not too happy about this. So
on my insistence we carried on and on and on and on to the
end. We couldn't get any further, because it was a railway
bridge with steps. I don't know if you know this but it's
a little bit hard getting up steps in a wheelchair. So we
decided to turn round. Whilst I was doing my manoeuvre to
turn round I got stuck in the mud. I was trying to get out,
and my wheels were just spinning round and round. I made the
hole bigger than it was originally. Mark even tried to push
me, but all to no avail. He moved me a little bit, whilst
I was shouting, "keep going Mark, just keep going."
He did eventually get me out, but, as I moved, my footrest
got caught in the wire fence. I was trying to get out and
Mark was trying to get me out as well, this time with no luck.
We were trying for about 15 minutes. There was nobody about
to help us. There was only me, Mark and the weeds.
At this point I started to laugh. I thought it was funny.
Unfortunately Mark didn't. He was calling me all the names
under the sun. You know like you fool and what an idiot you
are. And if you believe that you will believe anything.
So leaving me stuck in the fence, Mark decided to go and
look for help. He went to the cemetery, which was down one
of the alleys. He found an old couple putting flowers on a
grave, either that or they were looking for somewhere to live
later on. He told them what had happened, and they wanted
to ring the police. He told them to forget it, and toddled
off to find someone else. As you do.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, sorry I mean back at the spot
where I am now stuck, I was beginning to think that Mark was
not coming back. I did in fact think I had been abandoned,
because at least thirty minuets had gone by. I actually thought
that I would be here all night.
Meanwhile, back in the cemetery with Mark and the gravestones,
(scenery or what eh) Anyway back to Mark, who by now had found
the warden from the cemetery. So Mark began to explain what
had happened. "I think I'd better come with you,"
said the warden. Probably thinking, "what the hell have
I got myself into here?" but he toddled off with Mark
never the less.
Picture the scene, it's getting dark. There's a kid in a
wheelchair, stuck in a fence, thinking, "well that's
it I have been abandon, I might as well go to sleep."
But then I had this awful thought that if I did go to sleep
someone might jump out from nowhere and murder me. (I like
to look on the bright side of things) Of course by now all
kinds of things were going through my mind. Like, where's
the helicopter that is supposed to come looking for missing
people, and where the hell did Mark go to? I will probably
kill him if I ever get out of this mess. (bit of drama there,
I'm getting good at this, so would you if you'd been in my
predicament) With that, I heard a noise. I looked round, and
thought, "Oh my God this is it, I'll soon be joining
everyone else in the cemetery, I'll even beat the old couple
to it." But no it was Mark, with a man, (releif or what)
who I thought was a police man because he had a walkie talkie
with him. After what had seemed like hours, I was set free
from my trap in a matter of minutes. He had to keep tugging
and tugging at my chair to get me loose from the fence. (Freed
at last) I would also like to note at this point that I did
actually shout down the alley as Mark appeared, something
along the lines of, Mark, my friend where have you been. Alright,
I'll come clean. I did in actual fact shout, "Mark, where
the **** have you been?" fortunately the warden did not
understand what I was saying.
We went back home through the graveyard, and Mark went mad
at me again, because I went over someone's grave. (I thought
this could have been my home had I had to stop in that alley
All the way home Mark was going mad at me. He went on and
on that much he made my ears bleed. (by the way we went home
via a sensible route, on Marks insistence)
When I eventually got home My Mam said, "Where have
you been and what have you been up to?" "Oh! nothing
much. I only got myself stuck down somewhere called the 7
So I had to relay the story to her, which made her laugh.
Mark on the other hand took a little bit longer to see the
funny side of it. After a few days of not talking to me, he
forgave me for what had happened and we often had a good laugh
about it. As well as a few more adventures. Maybe one day
I may write about them.
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